Asked your mates to be your ushers or have you been asked, and to be honest … don’t really now what the role entails? More than just showing up in a new suit, the Groom’s back-up-boys do actually have a hand in the day running smoothly. From getting a decent breakfast (and perhaps some Dutch Courage) down the groom to guiding the Bride’s one hundred-year-old granny to her pew, you’ll be relied upon to help out. Don’t worry however – if you’re not doing a speech, you can relax as soon as the happy couple say “I do”.
The best bit – the Stag Do! From Lads on Tour to an active, muddy and wet adventure weekend, you’re supposed to be sending our buddy off to married life with some epic memories, so put some graft in and think of something cool. Food, drinks, and absolutely no strip joints (she won’t thank you for it). Try www.chillisause.co.uk for some ideas – they even have a really easy app. Select where you want to go, share it via the app with the lads, and let them look after the boring stuff.
Attend all of the pre-wedding activities – you might have an engagement party or wedding rehearsal to attend. Be on time and behave. Don’t stress the B&G out any more than they might already be. A rehearsal will be at the venue of the ceremony, and you’ll be told where you need to be and if you need to say anything or do anything specific.
On the actual day, you might be staying over at the Groom’s house or a hotel. If you’re not and you’re meeting the Grom on the morning, make sure you’re organised. Bag packed the night before, everything double checked. Got your cufflinks? Have you sorted out a card and gift for the couple? Is it wrapped and written? If not – do it! Perhaps all the Ushes can club together with cash and ideas.
Oh, and get some cash out for drinks – the Groom won’t be buying any.
You might need to usher guests to their seats at the ceremony – hence the name. Traditionally, guests of the Bride sit on the left, and guests of the Groom sit on the right. Ideally, you’re supposed to take the lady’s arm and direct her, and her partner will follow, but that’s likely to be a bit awkward. Just be polite, and pay attention to elderly guests or those with disabilities. You’ll likely be travelling with the Groom so will be there early anyway, but if not, 45 minutes before the ceremony is a good marker.
Make sure you know where the reception is afterwards and be prepared to offer directions.
Be prepared that you might need to link arms with the Bridesmaids whilst entering and exiting the ceremony, or dance with them at the reception/after the first dance. Make sure your Mrs is aware of this!
It’s quite a nice tradition to decorate the room where the married couple are staying that night. Get together with the Bridesmaids for this – keep it clean, and don’t mess with their stuff – they’re probably packed fo the honeymoon!
Enjoy the reception, but don’t go over the top – everyone likes a few drinks, but table dancing and fountain swimming won’t endear you to the new couple’s families!
Lastly, just be organised. Think ahead. Pack in advance. Know your role.
Editorial – Kim West
Menswear – Dandy Threads
Photography – Aaron Jeffels PhotographyDandy Threads, groom, Grooms Guide, Groomsmen, Magazine Issue 6, Responsibility, ushers