Having a few problems with your closest girlfriends during your wedding process isn’t something out of the ordinary. From jealous bridesmaids, to those who can’t afford the hen party, disagreements over dresses and how to deal with an ever growing bridesmaid pregnancy bump! Move over Jeremy Kyle you have not seen anything yet!
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We take a look at some of the most common bridesmaid problems to occur and most importantly how to solve them.
Problem 1: Opinionated Bridesmaids
Help my Bridesmaid is so opinionated. It’s undermining my plans. The chances are your going to be dealing with some strong and feisty personalities and one thing about a wedding, is its fair game for everyone to have an opinion. For the most sensitive of brides this can be really difficult to deal with and even for those who are used to this is can get quite wearing.
Solution: The best way to deal with opinionated people sticking their nose in is to not give them any ammunition to get excited about. Literally lock down the wedding plans and only share details on a need to know basis. Share details with a trusted circle of friends that you know are on your wave length. Explain that you want to keep everything under wraps and you would appreciate their discretion. When pressed for details explain you want it to be a surprise on the big day so your not giving anything away.
Problem 2: Bridesmaid goes AWOL
My bridesmaid has gone Awol is she still going to be my bridesmaid? We all have that friend that does not answer their texts or messages leaving you hanging as to what is going on.
Solution: In this case you know this person the best as to whether you think they will come through for you. Is this expected normal behaviour? If so perhaps there is nothing to worry about. Sometimes people just need their own space and think nothing of going off the radar.
Going on past history is this person a constant bailer? If so then perhaps it’s best to have a plan B. However, never assume anything and always communicate any changes you make with that person.
Problem 3: Bridesmaid refuses to wear your dress choice
She hates the bridesmaid dress I have picked and behind my back says she isn’t going to wear it. Finding bridesmaids dresses that everyone loves is always a challenge. It is important to have good communication upfront be open about how much money you have to spend as budget might be a big constraint. Find out from bridesmaids if their are styles they really don’t like. It is important to get everyone on the same page before the dresses are ordered as you want everyone to like and be comfortable wearing the outfit all day.
Solution: First of all is this a rumour or have you been told straight about the dress concerns. If this is a rumour you need to find out from the source if this is just gossip or if it is true. The main issue is you really should try and find a compromise so that you can move on and everyone is happy. What that compromise might entail could be altering the dress choice altogether.
Problem 4: Makeup Dillemmas
One of my bridesmaids always wears really over the top makeup. How, can I possibly ask her to tone it down
Solution: The question you have to ask is why this would or should be a problem for you. Your Bridesmaids should feel comfortable and makeup can be incredibly personal to people. If it is a real issue for you perhaps have a pre wedding make up trial and use the opportunity to experiment with some new styles. With a professional makeup artist on hand to guide your more likely to make progress.
Problem 5: Falling out of friends
Two of the bridesmaids have fallen out and things are so awkward. What can I do?
Solution: The question is what can you do to repair the friendships. If the situation cannot be resolved and it is causing you too much stress you may need to ask both parties to step back from their roles as bridesmaids.
Problem 6: I hate their bridesmaid dress choice…
I told my bridesmaids they could wear a dress of their choosing to help keep the costs down. But I really don’t like what they have picked, what can I say?
Solution: Hopefully you have a good enough relationship that you can say something if you need to. However, get a second opinion ask each of the girls what they think of each others dresses.
Problem 7: Money Troubles
Solution: Tell the chief bridesmaid that while it sounds like a lovely idea, not every member of the bridal party may be able to afford the trip away. You could offer a similar solution on a lower budget, by helping out in this way it sounds a lot better than stating all of the reasons you can’t afford a trip away. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you aren’t happy with the plans, especially as you don’t want to get yourself into debt! You may find that other members of the party weren’t happy either.
Problem 8: Feeling left out…
The chief bridesmaid and the rest of the bridesmaids don’t seem to include you in decision making and planning.
Solution: There could be a few reasons for this so don’t just jump to conclusions straight away. It could be that the chief bridesmaid has a particular way of organising and doesn’t need a lot of help from fellow bridesmaids. Reach out to the chief bridesmaid directly, send her a text and tell her you want to help out with ______ or you’d like to book the _____. This way she knows you’re interested and willing to help and she can’t really say no..
Problem 9: Jealousy
The jealous, single bridesmaid.
Solution: We all saw it happen in the film Bridesmaids but what happens when you’re faced with it in your own wedding plans? A jealous bridesmaid, no matter how close to you will go out of her way to make things as difficult as possible. Try talking to her and ask her what’s making her feel this way, if she values her friendship with the bride she’ll shake the green eyed monster streak off. If she doesn’t, is there really room in your life and wedding for a jealous friend!?
Problem 10: Pregnant Bridesmaid
You or another bridesmaid becomes pregnant.
Solution: It happens, and guess what it can’t be helped either. It sounds like a huge deal but unless you’re planning on giving birth mid speeches then it’s not that much of a problem. If it’s you, don’t wait around to tell the bride! Telling her up front and that you need a slight dress alteration is better than turning up to your final fitting 7 months pregnant! It’s also okay to speak up if you don’t feel comfortable in what you’re wearing now that you’re carrying a little person.